cancer

mal and i had a little movie nite tonite. It was nice, we watched two different movies. we watched the family stone. i liked this movie for the most part, it was interesting. the end though... it stirred up some feelings in me. even though its been almost 10 years since my grandma died of ovarian cancer, 5 years since my dad had prostate cancer, the mention of cancer strikes a chord in my heart. it is very upseting to me. you think that i would have dealt with that pain by now. but i haven't totally. maybe its just i'm at a point where i wish she was here to support me, for us to hang out and cook together. you see we even shared the same birthday oct 12. so every year when that date roles around, its bittersweet.
my mom i are very close, we very much share the same heart. i'm so thankful for her. this year she has been a huge support to me. shes knows me very well (there are plenty of things she doesn't know about me...) but she knows my heart well. i guess to confront my fears i would have to say i have a fear of losing her like i did my grandmother. all i can do is pray that we have many years left together. When mothers day this weekend rolls around, without a doubt i will be very thankful not only for the family that i have but for my mother